Ontario Jokes
This page is broken to two sections:
Have a new/better reason to be from this province? Send it in at the bottom of this page.
- Your provincial capital calls in the army to help clean up after a snow storm.
- Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
- You, and you, alone decide who will win the federal election
- The only province with hard-core American-style crime
- MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar
- Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house
-
-
-
-
Runner ups
- You live in the center of the universe
- There's no such thing as an Ontario Seperatist
- Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
- Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a cool city
- Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein
Have a new/better hint if someone is from this province? Send it in at the bottom of this page.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
- "Vacation" means going to Barrie/area for the weekend.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Canadian Tire store at any given time.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction.
Runner ups
- You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
- You use a down comforter in the summer.
- You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
- You have enough French vocabulary to get by some of the day in Ottawa without them thinking that you're a completly incapable American.
|